How to Build Confidence?
When I started my career, I had fear of facing people.
I did not want to face my boss, interviewer, clients, and other people at work.
I lacked self-confidence and audacity.
Do you know what it takes to improve self-confidence?
Let me state five powerful tips to build confidence.
The First Habit to Build Confidence
Here is the first habit to improve self-confidence.
The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives. – Anthony Robbins
Let us first understand what I mean by assertiveness.
Assertiveness means you need the following two qualities in your communication:
You speak with energy in your voice, and you are not frightened to say what you think or believe.
Let me tell you how assertiveness helped me in tackling corporate politics.
When I was working for one of the biggest private sector banks, one of my bosses tried to dominate me unfairly.
One day I had a heated discussion with him.
When he blamed me for a blunder our team did, I explained to him everything including my role and initiative for that assignment.
He downplayed what I said and tried to me prove me guilty.
He was so rude and confident that I could not delineate my point.
After the meeting, one of my colleagues said, You made a valid point.
I was convinced it was not your mistake, but you were not assertive at all.
Frankly speaking, I did not know the word ‘assertive’ at that time.
I went home and learnt more about assertiveness.
I practised assertiveness day in day out.
After ten days I started applying what I learnt.
Whenever my boss tried to dominate me, I also spoke assertively.
He stopped playing corporate politics with me since I understood his game.
In a nutshell, speaking with energy and confidence is assertiveness.
Now the most important aspect, why we need to be assertive or what assertiveness can do for us:
- When you are assertive, you make a good impression on others.
- When you are assertive, people perceive you as a confident communicator.
- With assertiveness, you can convince people with your point.
Moreover, this is the first quality of communication which impresses all of us; so we can also make important communication with assertiveness.
To build confidence easily, practice being assertive.
Speaking without energy and confidence is like having food without salt and sugar.
Here is the most important learning from Swami Vivekanand
A resource on Amazon to improve your communication skills:
Improve yourself every day. Do not ever stop trying to be a better person. – Bun
A Proven Strategy to Build Confidence
Please ask yourself the following questions:
Do you ever get up early in the morning without thinking about it a night before?
Do you ever go to see your friend without planning it?
Do you ever go for an outing without first thinking about it?
Do you ever go shopping without first thinking about it?
Do you ever go for a picnic/ movie without first thinking about it?
Whatever you do in your life; thinking comes first, then you take action on your thought.
How you can achieve something without first thinking about it.
Let us now see the following examples:
If you have not considered speaking before a group of people and influencing them, will you ever improve communication skills or public speaking skills?
Would you ever improve your writing skills if you had not considered writing a book or novel?
Would you ever learn the required soft skills and technical skills if you had not planned to join a giant organization?
Here are two resources on Amazon you can get to start thinking big:
If you have big dreams, you can have significant achievements.
Always play big in life and that starts with thinking big.
‘You Have to Think Anyway, So Why Not Think Big? ‘- Donald Trump
You must read Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
Can you ever feel a lack of self-confidence when you always think big?
Start thinking big to improve your confidence level quickly.
Make People Comfortable with You
Make People Feel Comfortable with You Why your best friend is your best friend because you feel most comfortable with him.
Do you like to meet people with whom you never feel comfortable?
Do you like to visit a doctor if you feel uneasy with him/ her?
Can you learn from a person if you do not feel comfortable in his company?
Can you have a friendship/ relationship with the person who never cares about your comfort level?
Will you like to visit a shop frequently if you don’t feel comfortable with shopkeeper?
Would you like to work in an office where you never feel comfortable?
Would you like to have a boss with whom you never feel comfortable?
So the key to a long-lasting relationship is making people comfortable with you.
Let us see the magic of comfort:
Your customer will visit you frequently, and you will have a long-lasting relationship and business with them.
Your employees will approach you with innovative ideas, which may transform your business to a higher level.
You will always enjoy the company of your boss.
You can create a good environment, not just good business, where people would love to be with you.
- Respect people for who they are.
- Train them to grow and fulfil your expectation.
- Motivate them to attain the next level of success.
- Treat them nicely so that they feel most comfortable in your company.
Confidence is contagious. When people around you are comfortable, you will also become more confident.
If you make people feel comfortable, everyone around you will gain confidence quickly.
I have learned that people will forget what you have said; people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. – American Poet
Have a Mentor
You have been learning new things since childhood. Just recall stuff you learned from people around you:
Your mother taught you how to dress up and have food.
Your parents showed you how to walk.
Your friends taught me how to play a particular game or different games.
You studied in school and college for more than 15 years.
Your career counsellor advises you the best career option.
Your boss teaches you thousand of new things throughout your career.
Your clients teach you to ensure the best quality products or services.
We keep on learning concepts, behaviour and thousands of other things from people around us.
Everywhere there is someone to teach us or to coach us.
And the quality of our learning entirely depends upon the quality of our coach or mentor, e.g., I learned driving from a person who was very comfortable driving cars.
When I started driving independently, I was very confident about driving.
That is the only reason people run behind IIM, IIT, IBS, Harvard Business school, London business school and other top educational institutions; they want to learn from the best.
When your coach is confident, you also become confident.
You will become the best when you learn from the best.
You must have seen all big stars, politicians; entrepreneurs and celebrities have their mentors who coach them different aspects of life, e.g., communication, acting, health and diet, business development, productivity.
So if you want to become good at something, consider having a mentor or taking coaching and choose the best.
You will automatically become excellent and confident by being in the company of a good coach.
Having a mentor – Action points for you:
Decide in which area of life you need a mentor to help you because you do not have the liberty of time.
If you do not like your mentor, search another one; do not get disappointed, this world is full of exceptional people.
If you cannot hire a mentor, for the time being, watch experts on youtube.com or other sites.
You will automatically develop confidence when you are proficient at doing something.
An Extraordinary Habit to Build Confidence
Willingness to learn is important, willingness to act on what you learn is critical. – Kevin Kelly
Can you recall your school days when completing homework used to give you the greatest satisfaction?
Every time you finished your work, you must have felt a sense of accomplishment, achievement and contentment, and after that, you were ready to play, hang out with a friend and do whatever you wanted to do.
Today, when you plan to work out an hour, and you do that it gives you a great delight, or when you complete even a small task like:
polishing your shoes;
ironing your clothes
buying vegetable or grocery item;
making routine payments;
cleaning your car
Completing anything brings pleasure and sense of triumph or victory.
On the contrary, when you run away from challenges or don’t complete your task due to any rationale or excuse, it just brings frustration, gloomy and discontentment.
In turn, you start worrying about the consequences.
You may befool others by telling a lie, but you can never befool yourself.
He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. – Benjamin Franklin
Be extremely inflexible when it comes to the completion of work.
Choose to complete your work at any cost rather than making excuses. When you finish your work, firstly it benefits you and then it helps your organization.
Imagine, the level of your confidence when you complete every job you start.
If you develop a wrong attitude, your company can always replace you with a better person, but you can’t replace yourself.
Remember you will build confidence faster if you are habitual of completing every task.
To develop the right outlook, ask yourself the following questions:
Can you ever leave your office without anxiety if you always keep your pending?
Can you enjoy dinner or spend quality time with your family if you always keep your work pending?
Can you ever enter office having a smirk on your face if you one crucial task is pending at your end?
This practice (completing your work) alone can change your career altogether. Make sure that you deliver the desired quality while meeting the given deadline.
I attribute my success to this – I never gave or took any excuse. – Florence Nightingale
If you always have a shortage of time, here are 5 quick time management tips for you.
Popular Quotes on Build Confidence
“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.”
“As is our confidence, so is our capacity.”
Self-respect, self-love, self-worth, all start with self. Stop looking outside of yourself for your value.” – Rob Liano
To build confidence, you have to take chances. Make choices and take responsibility for them.
“Nothing builds self-confidence and self-esteem like achievements.” – Thomas
“When you start seeing your worth. You will find it harder to stay around people who don’t.” – Unknown
How to Build Confidence – Conclusion
- This blog or any resource will help you if you are ready to experiment with ideas.
- To gain confidence quickly, decide to become action-oriented.
- Being assertive is one of the best habits to build confidence.
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